hey, i actually wrote something!

Saturday, May. 14, 2005 @ 7:53 p.m.

ladida...ladida....today was my lazy day...i slept ALL day (until like 5:00), basically because i was trying to escape my thoughts. there was a lot running through my head so i decided i didn't want to think about it, so i went to sleep instead. then i got up, put on shorts and a tank top (which you'll never catch me wearing in public) and made my first fruit salad ever! it was yummy. so that's all i've done all day.

i spent the last 2 night in AA going to clubs. good times. thursday night was a lot of fun cuz i saw my sands and hung out with all my greek friends. this guy was trying to get w/me all night and i almost kissed him until i realized he was a big flirt (oh hoe..whatever you prefer) and he spent the night at some other girl's house. good thing i stayed away. but of course last night i went salsa dancing and i saw the guy i was crushing on first semester. but of course he didn't like me then and then this past semester he decided he really liked me and wanted to be my b/f, but i decided i didn't like him anymore. but he never got the hint and always called and i got sick of it and even now my mom is sick of him. but see the problem is that i hadn't seen him in months, just spoken to him, so when i saw him last night i forgot how cute i thought he was. so i was nice to him again, but i know i can't be his g/f or anything, though he might still like me. it's not gonna work out and he's leaving in december so whatevs. sorry if all this doesn't make sense to you, but it does to me.

i decided that i'm crazy when it comes to guys and i don't make a lot of sense to most people (not even me sometimes). i make big deals about kissing guys and stuff when people do it all the time. i think my problem is that i'm actually looking for a boyfriend, like a long-term relationship...and college is NOT the place to find one. college is the place to find one night stands or casual hook up partners. so i think i'm just gonna be single forever. *sigh*

time to eat dinner :)

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