thinking...

Friday, Jun. 03, 2005 @ 8:33 a.m.

Due to some recent events that have occured in my life, I've been thinking about what I would do if I were faced with the decision of having to transfer schools. I haven't been faced with that (thankfully), but I was thinking about what I would do if the occasion rose (which I'm hoping it won't). And I surprised myself because I realized that, though I would absolutely hate it, I would do it. If it meant helping out my family, I would leave UM and go somewhere else. But that thought alone makes me really scared and squeezes at my chest, because honestly UM is my home. That's what I call home when I talk of home, not the house that I live in. And I don't think I could really leave everyone there...but helping out my family would be important, so I would have to and try and make the best of it.

I guess I just wanted to say that bit because it makes me feel good to a point. I don't really consider myself as big of a family person as I'd like to be, so the thought of making a huge sacrifice for them makes me feel good about myself. But, I dunno why I'm even thinking about this kind of sacrifice, cuz it's one of the hardest I'd have to make, and I don't want to be tested to see if I'd really do it.

I guess I'm still thinking too much about the future and worrying about things that are out of my control. God will take care of me. I trust Him.

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