balancing it all

Monday, Feb. 13, 2006 @ 2:39 a.m.

Wow, so clearly it's been a minute since I've last written here. I've basically moved to Xanga, so I don't update much. There's so much that's happened in this first month of the new year. I've definitely been overwhelmed with emotions. Had way more rejections from guys that I care for, but I'm ok now and semi-booed up. I dunno really..we're just whatever, but I'm fine with it.

um....school is actually going all right. I've been sleeping in too much but still managing to stay on top of work that I have to turn in. If only I could get caught up on reading....

I'm telling you, sometimes I really resent school. Especially being such an academically strong university like Michigan. It's hard but I'll tell anyone I love it here. I really do, and I can't imagine being anywhere else. I just sometimes get bitter because I'm so involved on campus and love being involved and going to everyone's programs...but school make it soooo hard. I can't be supportive and culturally educate myself if I have to sit in the library all day studying. I really feel like I can't balance it all....so I just do what I can in each area, and end up giving like 65% all over. I don't like that, but I can't really change it. I'm here for an education, so I shouldn't complain. Sometimes I just think I'd prefer to be here to be socially conscious and involved, not just for education. But I still love it here and totally realize that I wouldn't even be as socially conscious if I wasn't at Michigan. I said to someone earlier today that it must suck for white people sometimes because us minorities are always bitching and angry about something (not meant to offend anyone....we've just been oppressed and are still being oppressed, and we have a lot to say about it). So yeah...Michigan has definitely taught me a lot, which I'm so grateful for.....I'm just tired of always doing dang homework!

Anyway, in other news, I'm really trying to better myself as a person. I think I'm at a point where I've realized that I just don't like who I am, and things need to change.

But for now....I need to go to bed. Tomorrow is gonna be extra long, and I don't even know how I'm gonna get it all done to be honest. But that's how it is most of the time, and I always make it through....so I guess I'm good to go.

P.S. This is extra random, but I feel bad I couldn't go to the Sigma's party tonight....I haven't been to one of their programs in a while, and I'll have to explain why I wasn't there, which I always hate. *sigh*

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