bitchin' just because
Friday, Mar. 10, 2006 @ 2:50 a.m.
Don't you hate when ideas are planted in your head and then they just don't go away? I was just talking to someone about the long night I have ahead of me, and she suggested I ask for an extension on my paper. I told her I haven't really asked for an extension before (that I can recall....at least not at all this year), and I didn't even think of it before. But it's too late now cuz it's due tomorrow in class at 11am, and I'm sure my teacher won't check his e-mail before that. But the problem is that I was going to use my one skip day cuz I haven't been absent in that class yet and there is somewhere else that I need to be in the morning. But if I want to ask for an extension, I have to go to class, and I didn't even do the readings for class. But now I'm trying to read about sociological theory so I can type the paper and the words are just going together incoherently, so I don't understand a thing I'm reading. Plus I still have to finish my family project.Now I know all of you are thinking that I shouldn't have left everything to the last minute, but for once, I actually didn't. I've been working on the family project day by day since Monday. And I actually wrote a full page of my paper Wednesday night so I could get a start on it. But I've also had scholarship and job applications and a resume to write all this week too, plus practices for performances and programs to plan and what not. And tomorrow is going to be just as hectic. I actually tried really hard this week to do things early so I wasn't cramming at the last minute cuz I knew I wouldn't be able to do it, and I've been up a lot all this week. I even fell asleep at the computer last night at like 3:45am. But I did accidently sleep through class today which I'm upset about. But anyway, I haven't been shamming that much this week. Sure I can always improve and just cut off my socializing completely, which may have helped me, but I'm still human. I've been so proud of myself all week for getting everything turned in on time, and now here I am not able to write my paper.
The main reason I can't write it is because I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm one of those people who can write something really quickly as long as I know what I want to say. I've done the whole procrastinating, write the whole paper the day it's due and still get an A on it thing, but I really don't know what to talk about because this is a topic I'm not as strong in. I just need more time to really sit down with this book and dissect exactly what these theorists are talking about. But I'm annoyed cuz the way the class is set up is soooooooo easy, but I still have so much problem because I'm actually trying to understand instead of B.S. I dunno why I can't just B.S. this time. I just like to write good papers....I'm not good at making myself turn in a crappy paper...it really bothers me.
Ugh...I know most of you are thinking I could be writing my paper right now instead of writing in here, but I think I've already decided it's just not going to happen tonight. Especially because I really want to do well on my family project because I've been working on it all week, and I don't want to just crappily finish it up. Now all I have to do is figure out what I'm going to say to my teacher tomorrow. He doesn't seem like the empathetic type, and I don't really feel like sitting there giving him my sob story, cuz no one likes to hear that....but I dunno what else to say or do. Part of me wants to cry just because I've been trying so hard to stay on top of things this week, and I'm actually not going to turn in something on time. Plus I think I already would've gotten a B on the paper which means I'll prolly get a C on it for turning it in late. I mean, I have another chance cuz there are like 3 more papers, but it still sucks a lot. And I've turned stuff in late before.
Ugh....Ugh...Ugh....now I'm thinking about all the mistakes I've been making in my other classes and how I feel like I'm not going to get any of the grades I wanted in this semester....why do my winter semesters always go poorly? Every year it's the same thing....and all because I don't get enough sleep. So why don't I just quit everything, right? Right....you already know the answer to that one.
Sorry for complaining so much, I know we've all been there before. I just needed my own personal time to vent. And I still haven't figured out how I'm going to pull off everything tomorrow....my schedule is completely packed from about 7am - 8pm with no breaks.....ok ok, I'm done whining.
Lord, I need you!
